Total ramblings of a nutbar

Suggested outings

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 05:45:00 GMT

So, I have a thought. It seems as though we don't all manage to get together and hong out anymore. So, I have a suggestion....

The Royal Alberta Museum has a dragon exhibit going on right now, and I would like to go see it. It's running until the 14th of Septmeber, so we have lots of time. I just need to know who would be interested, and when they would be wanting to go.

Any takers?

I may end up regretting this, but.......

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 05:31:49 GMT

I need to find a webcomic that updates once a day that doesn't suck. See, I only have 4 that I read on a regular basis. There are actually 5, but there hasn't been an update there for months, and I'm getting tired of checking see if it has been or not.

And so, I ask you folks out there. What do you read and what do you recommend? I'm already on LFG, weregeek, and something positive, and of course, hurf.

So? Any thoughts?

Another year over.....

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:49:54 GMT

another one begun. Here's hoping this year will be better than last year, not that last year was bad, just very trying in a lot of ways. A lot of things changed, and a lot of things stayed the same. All I can ask for, really, is that I continue to grow mentally and emotionally, that I can remain healthy, and that I keep the love of those I care about so much............ To all my friends and family, Thanks for all the support you have given me in the past year. It's helped to keep me sane more than you can ever know. I remember what it was like to have no-one around to help me through, or to hear me cry, vent, or to remind me what it felt like to laugh and be loved. It was a very hard time for me, and I'm so very glad I have gotten past it. I'm glad that period in my life has ended, and I pray to the gods and spirits tha I never have to face that again. Noone should have to live through that kind of loneliness more than once in their lives.

Now, to Raz, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the unconditional love and support you have given me. 2 years have gone by so fast, but at the same time, it seems like yesterday that I was sitting in your old truck, just talking as friends. I love you Baby, but you know that.

The rest of you, and you know who you are, thanks again. My life is better with you in it.

High Jacked, sorta......

Sun, 04 May 2008 21:52:29 GMT

So, I got highjacked by a Cheese and Raz. Am out at Da Cheese's place right now. We decided that breakfast at the truck-stop was a good idea, then needed to go to the dollar store to pick up a couple things. I found some very nice chenille type yarn in a soft grey, but they didn't have any crochet hooks. So, off to Wal-Mart we go. I find the hook I want then meet the boys at the checkouts. Of course, they only have 2 express lanes open, and as normal, there are people in the line who don't understand the meaning of the rule of 10. I kept making comments about it to Raz, until the woman in front of me made commented about another lady who was putting mutliples of everything she bought on the counter. She turns and looks at us with a grin on her face and asks if having more than one item of the same thing makes it all one item. We of course laugh and say yes. We finally get up to the check out and I hand the crochet hook to the girl. She looks at me, dead serious and asks if I crochet. Raz and I just about fell over. I looked at her and said "No, I'm just getting it to have one..."

It just kills me to have that question asked. I mean really, you're going to ask me a stupid question, I'm going to laugh at you..............

That's all I have to say.

OMFG!!!!!!

Thu, 01 May 2008 05:13:31 GMT

http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/144

It's like they were there and they know!

Sooooo.....

Thu, 01 May 2008 02:58:33 GMT

Yea. My day was great, then I talked to Raz. Of course, it has put a rather big damper on my day, but I'm getting used to this kind of crap. I really wish I wasn't, and that my life was not as messed up as it is.

Now, I have no one to blame for any of this but myself, and my complete lack of will power when it comes to spending money. I know where it comes from, but I just can't seem to stop myself.

I will find a way to deal with this, it's just going to hurt a lot to do it.

Holy tired batman!

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:00:27 GMT

Ok, I survived. Worked the till at the midnight launch for GTA4 yesterday, or would that be early early this morning. 150 people and a lot of money later, the later being 2 hours 15 minutes, and I was ready to fall down. Got home about 3:30 am. went straight to bed, and have just gotten up, still feeling sleepy. But, I should make myself mobile.

I was impressed at just how well behaved they were. No fights, just a lot of weed. And I mean A LOT! But whatever.

I'ma go fall down now.

Please excuse me while I feel sorry for myself

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:10:09 GMT

I'm screwed. Again! Visa has once again gone into my bank account and taken money out of it without my authorization. In doing so, they have just made me bounce the car insurance payment, and all the person I talked to did was make me feel badly about myself because I'm abviously a terrible person cause I can't afford to pay things off. What the hell am I going to do? How the fuck do I deal with this? I'm robbing peter to pay paul, and I have no idea how to get the money in the first place.

Please, just shoot me? Maybe it'll make things better.

Finals, and a few other things

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 20:30:05 GMT

So, just finished writing my 3rd final for the semester. Things seem to be going ok. This one was Philosophy, and I think I managed to make it through it rather well. I wrote the one I have been stressing over yesterday, and I felt pretty damned good when I walked out of it. Finaira had been helping me with Stats, and with her help, I think I may have done ok. Guess I'll have to wait and see when I get my marks back.

We have the child tonight, and are just going to be staying home and hanging out with a few friends. Just a nice, calm, movie night. Nothing terribly exciting, but I think we all need that right now. Just something to calm down and chill out.

Anyway, gonna find something to entertain me for a while.

Later all.

Ack....

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:49:28 GMT

Ok, one down, 4 to go. Bio was this morning, took me about an hour. I blanked on some of the short answer, and am trying really hard not to look at my notes to see where I went wrong. I sailed through the MC, but like I said, the short answer was a different question. Not hugely worried though. I'll do ok on it al east. Passing is not an issue.

Now I just need to find the time to get the other 4 done. Have Stats tomorrow. Finaira is coming over again this afternoon to help me get my head around these questions. We'll see what happens. Either way, it'll be over and done with by noon tomorrow. Then I have to try and focus on the other ones. Philosophy, Spanish and Psych.

Grrrr.......

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:38:52 GMT

So, I have been sitting at my desk all morning, trying to work through a practice exam for stats. The final is in 2 days, and I need to try and practice. So, I get through the quetions I recognize fairly easily (or at least I think so) and then log in to Macewan to check the solution key.

This is where the frustration arrizes. I seem to be making stupid calculation errors. I guess I need to try and be more careful, but if I don't notice the mistake, then my entire answer, and some of them are 5 or 6 parts, will be compleely wrong.

Of course the rest of the issue is that I don't recognize what some of the questions are supposed to be. I am trying to do this without looking in my textbook, so I'm kinda stumped right now. Need to go and reread the book.

Grumbles.......

OMG WTF???

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:09:49 GMT

Ok, so normally, I'm a fairly busy girl, but this week is insane! I haven't stopped with the stuff to do for about 6 days already, and it doesn't look like it's going to let up any time soon. Here's the run down.

Wednesday April 2, school
Thursday April 3 , School and work, day 1 of cold
Friday April 4, School and work, day2
Saturday April 5, had Sara
Sunday April 6, still had Sara and tutoring seesion, then took Sara home and went to D&D
Monday April 7, School and Partylite unit meeting
Tuesday April 8, stayed home from school to try and get some sleep and had to work in the afternoon, then had a tutoring session
Wednesday April 9, School and start at new job with Robborbob
Thursday April 10, school and work at Tabi
Friday April 11, school and work at EB
Saturday April 12, Work at Tabi, starting to do store flip, again
Sunday April 13, Work at Tabi store flip, and then D&D

I think I have monday free, but I don't know right now. Will have to see where the school schedule and EB schedule lies.

And I wonder why I got sick again?

Hmmmmm..... work, school, and the rest of it all.

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 23:37:44 GMT

So, I've been trying to figure out how I am going to get past this coming summer without falling flat on my face, financially. As a result, I will be working 2 part-time jobs, one of them alomst full time hours. Or at least I hope so.

I've decided that being a digital crack dealer is a good idea. I'm going to be working with Da Cheese, and still working at the clothing store too. Hopefully, this will help with the financial side of my OMg this sucks life. Other then tha, I have been spending time with Fin to try and pass stats, and I seem to be doing well in the rest of my classes.

Nothing else to really report.

On Philosophy and the meaning of life.

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:41:56 GMT

So, for the past little while in Phil class, we have bee talking about the meaning of life. As such, we have had to do a few reading assignments on the subject. Things written by great philosophers about how life can be seen as meaningless and absurd, even, if given half a thought.

So, here is what I was thinking, I can agree that life is absurd, but I want to know what you guys think. Take your time, have a few drinks, and I'll even be more than happy to let you borrow my readings to help you along, but give me your honest thoughts about the real, true, meaning of life.

This ought to be interesting.

ETA: Ok then. I'll change the question. Tall_Man is right, the question should be WHERE do I find meaning in my life, so lets go with that.

grumbles.....

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:04:25 GMT

I hate being sick. It sucks big hairy himilayan goat balls.

I went to bed last night feeling fine. Woke up about 6ish feeling like I had been hit by a truck. My throat and sinuses are not very happy right now, and neither am I.

Grrrr.............

Rant to follow......

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:21:30 GMT

So, for my philosophy class, we have to write an argumentative essay about the death penalty. Now, I'm fairly comfortable with my personal view of the validity of this form of punishment. That's not the issue. My issue is that in order to do this essay, we have to read 2 articles out of our text books and use them as the basis for our essay. The one for the defense was ok, nothing hugely spectacular that left me agreeing whole heartedly with the author, but then, I'm not really all that surprised. The one for the case against, on the other hand, makes me want to scream.

I have only gotten 2 pages in to it, and I want to kill someone..... no the irony does not escape me on this...... The article is so racially biased that I'm having a hard time trying to read it for any factual evidence. some of the things they are using make me want to find the author and ask him if he bothered to look at the figured for the rest of the country. He seems to be focusing on the areas of the US that are notorious for not treating people the same way due to the colour of their skin.

It's this kind of writing that makes me want to slap people and tell them to get their heads out of their asses. That African-American population has come a long way since the days of slavery, and I applaud them for the success they had found. No-one has the right to treat others differently simply because they don't look like you. I know it still happens, but I try (I'm not perfect, and I will never say I am) to treat people the same no matter what.

For an article like this to be used in a course about morality makes me want to scream.

Ok, done now. Sorry about this guys...... just a little wound up today..... ignore as you will

Not so stupid after all.......

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:12:15 GMT

Ok, so I have managed to pass at least 3 of the second round of mid terms. I'm still waiting on the last one, and it's the one I am most concerned about. But I have an out if I fail. I can still drop the class without taking a hit to my GPA. I've talked to my teacher, and he understands completely. The other half is that if I manage, By the grace of whatever god I hold dear(No idea who that is right now), to pass, I will have 2 very smart people helping me to get all this figured out. Here's hoping things go the way I need them to, either of them!

As for the rest, I think I'll be ok. I still need to make sure I do better on my Bio final, but I think I might hit up fin and lakira to help me out with that one. It's not that I don't get it, it's the technical stuff that I think I might need a bit of help trying to make sure I have it all right in my head. And considering what those 2 ladies are studying, I figured they would be the best people to go to......... That is if they can spare me the time?~whimper~pout~

As for the rest, it looks like I'll be ok. Wont do as well as I would like, but no one to blame for that but myself. At least I can always do better next semester. Looks like I'm going to take 3 or 4 classes in summer session too. That way I can get a jump on the rest of the requirements for my degree and maybe move into the more entertaining stuff faster.

I'm a chicken!

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 05:48:34 GMT

Yep! You heard me right! I'm a big freakin chicken.

Couldn't face going to school again today. See, on friday, I wrote the second midterm in my stats class. I walked in to it so very lost, and walked out of it crying. LITERALLY! It was ugly. I stared at the 6 questions and had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Today, I had stats, and could not face walking in to that class room and finding out how badly I did on the exam.

This is not good! I need to not fail this class. But I'm so bloody screwed up that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Stupid thing is, I can understand it fine in class when he explains it, and I can muddle through the assignments on my own ok, but the second I have to write an exam where I can't look at examples to figure out the question, I freeze up.

I don't do word problems very well, and that's basically all stats is.

Fun, huh?

Devious Journal Entry

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:06:10 GMT

The compass by ~Finaira on deviant ART

if I may borrow this one, I was hoping that I might get you to change it a bit for me. Looks like a good approximation of the tattoo design I have been looking for for a while now. I'll give you more info on it once I get it figured out and if you are willing, get you to redraw it for me?

Well, don't I feel dumb!

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 06:28:18 GMT

Just cause I can!

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 17:11:34 GMT

http://www.lolcats.com/view/26

Choices

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 17:03:03 GMT

So, I started thinking about it last night, and I have come to a realization. I need a break. From just about everything, but there are certain things I can not take a break from. School, work, Sara and Raz. There are other things I can, and so, I think I need to right now. I have to much going on, and I don't have the energy to devote to all f them, and I am not focusing on the things that are important.

As it stands, I'm not going to be around much if at all for a while. I'm not going to be going to the pub on Thursdays, and I'm not going to go to the bar again for a while. I have things I need to take care of first, me being one of them.

I can't explain it without sounding incredibly selfish, and I really don't feel like getting into it right now. Suffice it to say that I need to take time away from things that I have been focused on to readjust my priorities.

Sorry folks. See you when I see you. Those of you who I spend time with outside the pub and such, I will see you soon, just don't expect a lot. Not doing to well mentally these days, and I'm trying to keep from falling apart.

Don't worry, I'll be fine, just need some time away.

For JL

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 23:04:41 GMT

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02122008.shtml

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:29:10 GMT

Feeling a little worse about myself today. Yesterday was a bad day for me. A few things just did not go right, and I was left feeling like a complete failure because of it. I'm still suffereing from it today, and have been second guessing some of my choices because of it.

Basically, after roughly 2 weeks of not being able to go to class for one reason or another, I have been trying to go to class regularly this week. It's been hard. All I really want to do is go back home and go back to bed. My body and mind are tired, but I have things to do this week at school, and so, must push on. Next week is going to help, I hope. Anyway, getting back to the point. I had run in to a girl from my spanish class on monday, and we chatted for a few minutes, but she didn't mention anything important class wise, so I had no idea I was walking in to a chapter exam on tuesday morning. A chapter exam I was not prepared for. Right after walking out of that, I found out that marks were up for the Bio mid-term I had writen last week. I suffered out the class, and went to check the marks. Needless to say, with where my head was last week, I failed the exam. The only thng I can say is that I'm not really surprised.

Anyway, I went home right after that. No more classes for the day anyways, and I had a house to clean for Invisibleu's partylite party. I got home and within 15 mintues, Raz and I decided to jump down each others throats. The rest of the day went by quickly, until Raz came back home from work. During that time, I got a phone call from my best friend who was falling apart after her 2 year relationship ended, then I talked to my Dad. Both calls were trying, emotionally for me. and because of this, I was a basket-case for the rest of the night.

So, yea. Bad day.

Oh, right. To add insult to injury, we got the spanish tests back today. And yes, I failed that one too. Not really surprised though.

So, here I sit, once again. Feeling small, tired, mentally drained, emotionally destroyed, and feeling pretty bed about who I am right now. Not looking for sympathy, just letting y'all know where my head is.

Here's hoping I start getter better soon. I really hate feeling like this.

Getting better

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:05:39 GMT

I'm not going to go into details, there are just to many, but I think I'm going to be ok. Things are starting to feel like they are getting easier, but at the same time, not. I've had a chance to talk through a few things, with people who needed to be talked to, and I think I can start to get a handle on things.

It's not been an easy 2 months, but I think I'm going to be ok. I am still looking forward to next week and not having classes to go to, God knows I need the break. But I think once it's passed, I'll be able to look at things without wanting to bury my head under a rock and pretend they aren't there anymore.

Now I just need to learn to prioritize things a bit better. I need to make sure that I am doing my class work, and studying. These are more important than anything else. Cause if I sdon't pass this semester, I don't get to go back next year, and that thought is unacceptable!